Syntaxtual Healing

Everyone knows the truth. If you want to lose weight, there's only 2 things to keep in mind.

Eat less.

Move more.

Then why, for the name of all that is holy, is it so fucking hard?

I will tell you why. Because unless you're dead inside, food is fucking delicious. It should activate parts of your brain normally only activated by hotties.

For example, please review the photos below. I have provided 2 options, so if you're attracted to men or women, you should have some reaction to some degree to one (or both, rawr) of the below images.

At least one, if not both of these images should make you feel SOMETHING. The extent to which you feel that something is for you to know, please, no need to share. But if you're like us here, you've got the mentality of a 13 year old boy and are drooling right now.

Now, assess your reaction to the following images.

Source

Source

 Did you begin salivating all over again? Is your face pressed up against your monitor right now, trying to taste some cheesy goodness or lick some peanut butter icing into your mouth? Congratulations, you're one of us.

Quitting good food, just like stopping enjoyment of anything in life, is not easy. I know, all in moderation. Count your calories and you'll be fine. You know what, anyone who tells you that does not have the above reaction. They are people who can eat the same meal every day. People who tell you food is just something you take in to sustain life.

Bullshit. Food is family, food is memories. Food makes you feel loved. So if I want to shove an entire tray of cookies into my mouth, I don't know if that means I wasn't loved enough, or if I just want to feel loved all the time. I'm pretty sure it's the latter. Just like I wouldn't complain if Bradley Cooper showed up on my doorstep, I'm not going to turn away a tasty meal just because it will put me over my calorie count for the day.

That shit's just not normal.


*Please let the record show that I liked Bradley Cooper before any of you bastards knew who he was, so lay off.